Sunday, April 17, 2011

Rough Draft of a Romance Scene

here is the rough draft of a short romance scene in my story. It is supposed to combine elements of horror and romance but this scene leans more on the romance aspect of the story. Let me know what you think!


The traveler found herself in a ornate room, surrounded by every luxury she could imagine. Plush carpet, a carved marble fire place, golden statues and figurines adoring every corner, shelves mounted with hundreds of fine leather bound books that looked like they hadn’t been touched in years, yes still looks as pristine as the day they were made, and to top it all off a massive crystal chandelier hung form the ceiling over their heads, fractioning the light from the fire place and sending different hued lights dancing walls. It was no less than breathtaking, however it still held the charm and comfort that one could only get from sitting in a home they had lived in since childhood. The walls were stained blood red and decorated in swirling golden patterns that reminded her of shells washed upon a beach. She faintly remembered beaches from when she was young, before her life so drastically was thrown into shadow. She would walk upon the beach with her father, tugging on his hand, laughing as the salty water splashed upon her face. It made her feel at peace.
Everything about this castle made her feel at peace, the colors, the furnishings, even the air seemed permeated with a sweet aroma that she could not pinpoint. Everything in this place seemed as if it were designed with her comfort in mind. But the castle’s proprietor was the most charming of all. She was almost ethereal, with soft, pale hair and eyes and elegant features. Her fair skin almost glowed in the firelight that cast shadows across her face. She was absolutely the most beautiful thing the traveler had ever laid eyes upon, however she noticed in the corners of her eyes and the slight downturn of her lips a deep melancholy that pulled on the very core of her soul. She wanted to relieve that melancholy, for in her mind, something so beautiful should not be so distressed. 
The countess turned to her and her expression melted into a warm smile. “Is the tea to your liking?” she asked.
“Oh! Oh yes!” the traveler blustered
“And the accommodations here?” she inquired.
“Oh lovely! The most gracious welcome I have ever experienced,” the traveler said, a polite smile gracing her lips.
“Good,” said the countess, resting her chin in her hand. “I’m glad.”
“What is this place?” she asked.
“Castle Surridge,” The countess informed.
“I have never heard of this castle before, and I have lived in this area my entire life, surely I-“
“I assure you we have always been here.”
“We?”
The countesses fingers twitched in her lap. Her soft smile faltered for a moment before easily sliding back into place, “This castle and myself,” she said, her voice as smooth as butter.
“Ah,” the traveler said. “And Master Surridge?”
“He is dead,” she said with very little change in her tone, but her expression became far away and wistful. “He died of pneumonia many years ago.”
“Oh, I am sorry. I sound not have pried.”
“No it’s quite alright, it is a common thing to ask. You must think it strange, a woman managing a household by herself.”
“No, I find it very admirable! But,” the traveler looked around the massive room. “This castle is so big, how do you care for it without any maids?”
“It is easy for a woman such as myself with no other responsibilities and a lot of time on her hands,” she chuckled. “The castle requires little cleaning, and I never grow wearing of tending to my charge.”
“I see.” Doubts crept into the travelers mind. This place was far too big, and the countess far too fair to handle a task like that by herself…  She shook the thoughts away. “And um…Madame Surridge-“
“Vyvian,” the countess corrected.
“Oh no Madame, I could not address you by your first name. that would be-“
“Improper?” she said, shaking her head. “Not at all. A woman such as myself with very few visitors prefers to enjoy her guests company, and I find it very difficult when proprieties meddle with conversation.”

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